The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be find out here great?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry our website is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and have a peek at this website reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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