The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably learn this here now wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Numerous gay men wish to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your visite site vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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