The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools Extra resources are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I click over here do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and he has a good point hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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